New Emotions
by I-get-hit-in-the-feels-a-lot
Summary: Dean Winchester is not gay, is he? No he can't be, I mean sure he thinks about Castiel all the time but that doesn't mean anything.I mean even if he wanted to be more than friends with Castiel he couldn't, could he?Dean's had always been a good soldier, his father wouldn't want this so he can't be with Castiel.He has to make his dead father proud, right? Bad summary, better story.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Supernatural or any of the character. If I did that would be awesome.**

What's happening to me? I'm Dean Winchester, I'm a chick magnet, but then again the ladies are always saying why are all the cute ones gay! No! Damn it Dean! They don't say that about you because you're not gay! So you think Castiel his dreamy eyes and beautiful hair, and god that deep voice of his and the way he tilts his head… No! Damn it! I'm Dean Winchester I can't be in love with a guy, can I? No, it's absurd of course I can't be.

"Yes Dean, you prayed?" Castiel said in that deep sexy voice. No! Damn it Dean, his voice isn't sexy!

I shook my head trying not to think about Castiel's sexy voice. "What?"

"Did you not pray for me?"

Damn it! Know I'm praying about him without realizing it! I coughed trying to think fast. "Oh yeah...um...we're working on a case I thought you might be able to help us with."

"Ok what's the case?

I turned away trying to not think of those amazing blue eyes that were so close to me. "You should ask Sam about it."

"I shall do that but where is Sam."

"Beer run."

"Then I'll wait here until he gets back." Castiel said calmily.

"I...uh...don't think that's a good idea?"

Castiel tilted his head in the cute way he does when he's confused. God why was he so damn hot? Castiel had to leave I could feel my blood running down towards his co…..no! This is not how a straight male reacts to another guy being around. You, Dean Winchester are not gay!

"Why not?" Castiel questions. He give me a quick glance up and down, god I really hope he can't see my growing boner. "Are you ok Dean, you seem worried or upset. Is it this case?"

I take a deep gulp. "No it's not the case. I...ah...I just need to think."

"About what?" It was annoying as hell when Castiel didn't pick up on social cues but also cute in a really odd way. Anything Castiel does is cute.

Damn it! I can't be gay! I mean what would Sam thing, what would dad think if he was still alive. My god he'd probably have a fit and beat the gay out of me. Wait, why am I thinking about how they would react, I AM NOT GAY!

"Look dude I just need some time to think ok? Do you think you could just leave!" I snapped at him.

There was a hurt look in Castiel's eye but he didn't leave, no, infact he walked closer to me. "Dean, I sense it is I who is troubling you."

Oh my angel! He's so close, I have a full on boner now, if he gets any closer he'll feel it.

"What the hell Cas? We talked about this, personal space!" I needed him to leave, now!

He kept walking closer! I could smell his amazing minty breath. Do angels chew gum because it sure smelled like Castiel did. He's literally face to face with me! There's literally no way he can't feel what's going on around my legs.

"I am only trying to take away your discomfort Dean." Castiel is leaning towards me.

OH MY GOD IS HE GOING TO KISS ME! OH MY GOD HIS LIPS ARE ON MY LIPS! HIS LIPS ARE SO SOFT AND TENDER, THIS IS THE BEST KISS I'VE EVER HAD! WAIT! WHAT AM I DOING! I'M NOT GAY!

I can feel my body pushing him away from mine. "WHAT THE HELL CAS?"

"I'm sorry...I thought...I misread...I'm sorry." Castiel is stumbling with his words and his perfect blue eyes are clearly disappointed.

"No shit you misread! Look I think you should just go!" Why the hell am I being so mean to Castiel! He just gave me the best kiss I've ever had and now I'm shunning him?

"Yes, I ah, think that would be best." Not a moment later I am once again alone in the motel room.

I am so deep into thought about whether or not I'm gay (which I'm not) that I don't really notice Sam enter the room. It's not until he snaps his fingers in my face that I even realize he's in the room.

"Hum...what?" I say still slightly in thought.

"I was trying to ask if you've heard from Castiel lately?" Sam said giving me a slight bitch face.

I can feel my face turning a shade darker and I know Sam sees my embarrassment because he smirks, like he can't wait to hear what that goofy, sexy, loveable, angel did now. I try to play it cool anyway. "Yeah, ah, he dropped by earlier. Toss me a beer will you."

It was clear Sam wanted to know what happened when Castiel was here but he didn't question it too much. "And? Did you ask him for help about the case?"

I take a long sip of my beer trying to avoid thinking about those soft angel lips. "Yeah I asked him but I told him to talk to you about specifics on the case."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "He was getting on my nerves." I know got a full on bitch face from Sam. "What's the face for?" I ask him accusingly.

"He got on your nerves." He said mocking me. "You've been a real ass to Cas lately, don't you think you get on his nerves. Yet he comes every time you pray to him, even when you get on his nerves."

"Yeah but he's always in my ass and today he kind of...sort of…" I trailed off thinking of how close he had been to me. I could smell his magnificent minty fresh breath, I could see that perfect iris in that perfect shade of blue, I could feel his breath on mine. WHAT AM I THINKING! I, DEAN WINCHESTER, AM STRAIGHT!

"Kind of sort of what?" Sam questions.

I mumbled "kissed me." But Sam heard it perfectly because he burst into laughter and laughed for a good five minutes.

When he was finally able to catch his breath he said "about time! Bobby and I had a bet about when you two would in finally get together."

I spit out the beer I was drinking. "You...Bobby...bet...what?" Was all I could get out.

"Yeah and I owe Bobby twenty bucks now. He bet Cas would make the first move, I bet you would."

"I'm not gay." I say in a low tone, so low I don't think Sam hears me.

But he does he hear me because he said, suddenly very serious. "Dean, it's ok if you are. Bobby and I, we see the way you look at Castiel, and honestly we haven't seen that kind of lust and desire in your eyes since Lisa. She didn't work out for you but Castiel is an angel, he can protect himself and he doesn't have a kid like Lisa so you're not putting him in danger. We want you to be happy and if Castiel makes you happy then don't be a dumb ass, tell him how you feel."

"But I can't be gay." I say less confidently than I had hoped to sound.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm Dean Winchester, I'm not suppose to like dick. I'm suppose to hunt things, go to beers, and having one night stands with some random chick I meet at a beer."

"That sounds like something dad would have told you."

"Maybe...maybe it is. Maybe I'm still his good little soldier." I added; "And so what if I am? It was a lot easier when he told me who to go after."

Sam took a deep breath, "Let me ask you something. How did the kiss make you feel?"

"What?" I say shocked that Sam would ask me something so intimate.

"How did the kiss make you feel?"

I debate lying to Sam but I don't see the point. For the most part he can tell when I lie anyway. "It was the best kiss ever. His lips were soft and his breath was minty. God he was so close and...and...I pushed him away. Sam, what's wrong with me? I'm not suppose to be gay, am I?"

"Well you're trying to please a dead father, that's what's wrong with you! If you like Castiel go for it damn it!"

I try to protest. "But…"

"Don't say you're not gay! Maybe you're bi! I doesn't matter. If you like Cas tell him!"

It was in that moment that I realized Sam was right. It shouldn't matter what I was, bi, straight, or gay, I like Castiel and sure as hell was I going to tell him!

"You prayed Dean."

Sam and I nearly jumped out of our skins. I really had to start paying more attention to what I was doing.

"Ah yeah, I wanted to talk about this afternoon." I look at Sam hoping he'll understand I want him to leave.

He does, "I'm just going to step outside. I need to call Bobby, move some money around. Sam said while heading towards the door.

As soon as he's gone I try to lighten the mood and offer Castiel a beer. He declines saying, "I am in no mood to drink."

This was going to be hard but I had to do it, "listen, Cas, about this afternoon…"

He cuts me off, "there is no need to bring that up. I misread things and I made you uncomfortable, I apologize for that."

"No, you didn't make me uncomfortable…"

He cuts me off again, "then why did you push me away."

He wasn't making this easy, at all. "Damn it Cas, stop interruppting and I'll tell you." I say but not in a mean or harsh tone. He only nods to confirm he won't interrupt anymore. "For a while now I've been battling my feeling for you. I, it's just...you didn't know my dad...he wasn't into gay stuff…"

I told Castiel not to interrupt but he does anyway. "I am sorry to stop you but I must inform you, I did meet your father. In heaven."

"What?" I say shell shocked.

"Yes, I knew your father, he was always very happy with Mary."

"You talked to my parents in heaven."

"Yes, many times before." Castiel said calmily.

"Why didn't you ever say something before?"

"Well, you see, God gave the order for an angel to save you from hell. Many angels wanted to do it but John made sure God made me get you. I promised John I would save you but he told me not to mention this to you until the time was right. Even before I meet you in person I was rather fond of you, and your father knew this, which is why he sent me.

Both he and your mother wants you and Sam to be happy and John thought me being with you could do so."

I couldn't help it, there were tears coming to my eyes. "So he's ok with you and I?"

Castiel only nodded.

That was all I needed to know. My father wanted me to be happy and he didn't care if Castiel was a man, a woman, or an angel, as long as I was happy.

I smiled at Castiel and moved closer. When I was only inches away from him and could smell his amazing minty breath I smiled and said "you definitely make me happy." Before he can reply I close the gap between and press my lips against his perfect soft ones.

_**The End**_

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